10 Aug #CURSEOFTHEBIGFOOT
so when I was in Sheep Ranch I watched a couple movies on my iPad…and “live tweeted” them in my sketch pad.
here are the “tweets” from the first movie “Curse of the Bigfoot.” it got ONE STAR on IMDB…so you know it’s got to be a good one.
for those of you brave enough… I’m going to embed the film at the end. it’s at least worth watching the scene that starts around 3:50.
[start live tweets]
• sweet evolution montage, bro.
• threatened by a monster from the past! cue the first awful monster makeup.
• what is dude doing in the pueblo? why are we in the midwest now? #confused
• PRO-TIP: don’t shoot directly into sun when filming day-4-night
• is this movie about Bigfoot OR Leatherface? #confused
• “you’re making enough noise to wakeup the dead” #foreshadowing
• wait, dogs drink milk? related: where did the milk come from?
• every time I see a horrible actress I hope she’s at least good…at other stuff.
• oh wait, we were watching a film WITHIN a film. #deep #meta
• did they just reference THE EXORCIST & JAWS? yes, yes they did.
• hang on high school science class, we’ve got a Bigfoot expert coming in. #cuemontage
• B-roll of PNW firs cut to A-roll of CA oaks. TOTALLY DIFFERENT TREES BRO!!!
• is the teacher still narrating? are any of these sequences connected? #confused
• it’s hard to feel concern for a character you met 30sec ago…and who has exhibited ZERO personality. #empathy yo.
• apparently dialog wasn’t in the budget #CURSEOFTHEBIGFOOT
• “let’s review these ancient sea-monsters…and a Griffin.” #couldnotfindthreeseamonsters
• now we are back in the SW..on a field trip.
• “are we going to find bodies? No. what about bones? Um. also no.”
• “we can’t go that way!” cue: them going that way.
• geez, this script must have been 35 pages long. #CURSEOFTHEBIGFOOT
• “who wants to go into the creepy, sealed, prehistoric cave? don’t ALL volunteer at once. NO srsly don’t. WHAT’S WRONG W/ YOU PPL?!
• cavemen did pottery & had writing & practiced mummification? #whoknew
• million year preservative smoke #seemslegit
• why elaborately preserve a monster when you could kill it? #coughTRUEBLOODcough
• “the moon is so bright you don’t even need a flashlight” thanks for explaining the bad day4night filming
• wow. they aren’t even tinting day4night now. it’s like the filmmakers have given up.
• “this isn’t normal dried blood…it’s too dark.” #neverseenblood
• “let’s lure it into an open field because…uh yeah, because!”
• meat scraps! who doesn’t like meat scraps? #meatscraps
• this cop has the biggest handgun ever. also, no extra ammo. #confidentarewe?
• “it’s been almost 3 minutes we’ve been waiting for this ancient mankiller beast.” #impatientarewe?
• and they threw the gas on it! #CURSEOFTHEBIGFOOT
• wait, we don’t go back to the school? what kind of #flashback is this? #CURSEOFTHEBIGFOOT
• also weren’t 2 students supposed to be catatonic? they all look pretty ok to me. #CURSEOFTHEBIGFOOT
[/end live tweets]
and now…CURSE OF THE BIGFOOT!!!