27 Aug Mave was his name.
the last couple days I’ve been working on transcribing my “10th grade” sci-fi story. I really don’t remember the story at all, so it’s been fun discovering it as I go along. here’s a few things I’ve noticed.
• there’s a LOT of cross-cutting between locations
• there’s no clear villain or hero, both are portrayed in same light
• I use way more words than is needed
• lots of “telling” not much “showing”
but hey, I was 16 so…
here’s a little snippet. there’s a few parts to it I think are entertaining. first off, my disdain of bureaucracy is nothing new. second, a cool prop – the hologram projector disguise he uses. third, the misdirect was pretty successful too. at first, we are that the pilot made it, then it is revealed he’s not what he seems.
Ruger walked back to the hanger to wait for the other pilots. He was stopped three times for security checks. Each time he pulled out his Nectori ID and they have to verify it with the station Administrator. After the third time, a station official ran up to him.
“Here is your Melnith ID, sir.”
“Thank you, about time.”
Ruger attached the badge to his flight suit and continued to the hanger. There were eight more Nectori fighters there.
“What happened to the last fighter?” Ruger asekd.
One of the pilots answered, “We think it didn’t make it through the asteroid belt.”
As they stood there in silence, a battered FI//10 flew in.
“He did make it!” One of the pilots yelled.
The landing crew rushed over to secure the ship and help the pilot out of the cockpit.
Mave was his name. He was chosen for this mission because of previous success in sabotage. So far, the first part had gone well. The hologram projector made him look like a Lothlorian pilot. No one had asked about his lack of injuries, even though the Sparrow Hawk he flew in had been so badly damaged.
He had gone back to his ship last night and removed what were supposed to be energy cells. They were in fact, high powered explosives.
After he took them out, he put them one-by-one into a bag he had brought. When he had gotten 16 charges he headed towards his quarters.
As he walked down the dimly lit corridor, he heard someone coming! Quickly, he adjusted his hologram projector and faded in to the wall. The Meith guard walked right past him.
Mave then continued to his room without incident.
maybe I’ll post more as it continues… still not sure what I will find.